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Conductor

posted by strawhat a year ago

There's this guy sitting on a train and he doesn't have a ticket. The conductor comes up and says, "Do you have a ticket?" and the man says he doesn't. So the conductor says, "Well, you can't be on this train without a ticket," and throws the man off of the train. The man is killed, and the conductor is arrested. He goes to court and gets sentenced to death for the murder of the man.

While he's sitting in his jail cell, the executioner comes up and asks, "What do you want your last meal to be?" and the conductor says, "A banana." So the executioner gets the banana, and the conductor peels and eats it. They lead him to the electric chair, he sits down without a word, and they turn it on. Surprisingly, he doesn't die. Now, they know current was flowing through the chair, so, for a lack of anything else to do, they take the conductor back to his cell. He contacts his lawyer, and the lawyer gets him released on the technicality that the execution was indeed performed, and the conductor is now legally dead.

The conductor gets a job on a new train, and there's a kid on this train. The kid doesn't have a ticket when the conductor asks for one, so he throws the kid off of the train. The kid dies, and the conductor goes to court again. He is once again sentenced to death.

While in jail the executioner once again comes up to him, asks him for his last meal. The conductor eats the banana and goes off to the electric chair. But once again he doesn't die. And also he gets out of jail under the same circumstances.

The conductor goes off and gets yet another job and kicks yet another person off of a train and the same scenario happens. He goes to jail, eats a banana and doesn't die from the electric chair. This happens 7 times.

On the eighth time he's sitting in his jail cell, the executioner comes up and asks, "What do you want your last meal to be?" and the conductor says, "A banana." So the executioner gets the banana, and the conductor peels and eats it. They lead him in to the electric chair and turn it on - he doesn't die yet again. So the executioner says, "I just have to know - you've been in here 8 times, and you haven't died. What's your secret?" The conductor replies, "I don't have one." The executioner persists, and asks, "Is it the bananas?" The conductor smiles and replies, "No...I guess I'm just a bad conductor."

  • 0
    Anonymous
    / a year ago

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    Reply
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