Paper vs Rock
Rock wins every time :)
paper beat robert de niro in brazil (1984).
ive always wondered the same thing
this is a truly funny observation
I'm not a fan of all the pricks who call people out on all their spelling mistakes. "Hey everybody I'm smart because I noticed that this guy was missing an apostrophe!" Douche
You should have put a period after the word "Douche".
passive aggressive much?
lmfao this is amazing
Now everyone shut the fuck up
From the link:
8. Why does paper cover rock?
While not exactly intuitive, the sympolic meaning of paper covering a rock dates back to ancient Chinese culture. When a petition was made to the Emperor, the petition was signified by a rock.Upon making a decision the Emperor would have his servants place a sheaf of paper either over or under the rock. If the sheaf was placed under the rock it would signify acceptance of the petition. If the sheaf was placed on top of the rock it signified denial of the petition. Over time the symbolic image of paper covering a rock became synonomous with defeat.
i just peed a little i laughed so hard!
that was just plain awesome!
were can i buy this
I mean, it could be a small rock and some crazy papyrus we're talking about.....Egyptians. did invent the game you know. And yes, they also invented scissors. People don't know what the fuck they're talking about. GO PAPER!!!
The rock is a fist. The paper is actually an open hand, deflecting the fist. A counterattack roundhouse kick is thereby implied.
unless your opponent is a blackbelt, and he uses his already open hand to catch your crudely clenched fist
The latter part of the above pic, would potentially result in a prosecution which would be on a lot of paper resulting in a jail sentence, ultimately protecting us.
I actually tried to punch someone after choosing rock, and they had paper, but they slapped my hand away... paper defeated rock...
Thats why this can all be solved with rock paper scissors lizzard spac
just dont do the fucking game -.-" lol
The only thing is I would punch you back and knock you the fuck out.
the guy who made this sign is just a waste of life butthole. and the guy who took the picture and recommended it to stumbleupon is even worse. Haters gonna hate, but I don't want to listen to bullshit. If you don't want to play rock, paper, scissors, don't come over to my house.
Why? do you have Rock Paper Scissor Parties?
All I know is that Spock beats all three options.
rock paper scissor shoe!
paper is supposed to be dynamite with a cut-able wick so rock will be blown up but scissors can cut the wick
what the heck?
i think we all know that kramer already explored this concept in Seinfeld. Failed attempt to be creative.
then they do a wax on wax off with their hand already in that form, then they do the crane and knock you out. Thats how paper beats scissors.
You could try to beat the guy with the paper hand? But he will stop your fist with guess what?! His already open hand... And then shape into scissors and guees what?! Pull your eyes off, wehre is your rock now? Stupid asshole.
yes but if i am a kung fu master my paper hand is in exactly the correct position to block your clenched fist.....wax off paper beat rock
when you throw that punch ill catch it with my open hand
Chuck Norris can use paper to beat rock.
Chuck Norris jokes are completely unfunny.
yea as you try to punch my face your fist lands in my strategically placed open palm. Doh!
In Sweden we call it rock, scissors and bag (like a plastic bag or a paper bag), considering the bag to somehow engulf the rock...
you're fucking bitter. laugh a little.
did anyone else catch that this is from Dane Cooks stand up? therefore most likely has nothing to do with money, power, or science....
and has everything to do with simple comedy
I agree with punching you in the face.
dik ed blud u r dizzy play the game like u shud its not ur game u dint invent it
In Swedish the game is called "rock, bag, scissors". Makes a lot more sense.
Your just jealous because you probably can't win, so you come up with your own little "logical" explanation. Yup, chart that one down as another major fail!
who made this is stupid.
throw a rock at a piece of paper
if it splits in two, let me know.
that's just stupid </3
that is good
i could punch that person i hate
when i play rock paper scissors i keep a stick in my pocket and then yell choose "LIGHTSABER!" or occasionally "WIZARD!"... automatic win.
LOL DIDNOTREADLOL UMAD?
Ok take some paper, wrap it around a rock, and set it down. See if the rock escapes.
i luv this soooooooooo much!!! xx
HAAHAHAHA nice dude ima do that to my friends =3
Well this is just silly. I'd block your punch with my already-set palm. Paper protects me.
Chuck norris could catch your rock out of mid-air with his paper, game over.
I think anyone trying to make this stumble into a deeper meaning is an idiot. It's just something funny. Laugh a little instead of trying to analyze the crap out of something that has no deeper meaning. Rock, Paper, Scissors= FUN. NOT money, power, science or w/e the frak you're trying to make it into. Why so serious?
You would use rock and punch me eh? Well I'd use my paper and slap you so hard in the fucking face ill make your cheeks bleed.
Paper blinds the rock. This leaves said rock confused long enough for paper to do its magic.
And while both are distracted, scissors takes over all!!!! Mwahahahah!!!!!!!
this is what you call trying to hard to be funny
too hard... (sorry)
wow best comment page ever lmao and everyone here has the same name what a coincidence
...And then Chuck Norris blocked his rock-fist punch with his flat paper hand and proceeded to slap him senseless.
pointing out the rock/paper conundrum = not interesting anymore
what are your feelings about rock paper scissors dragon spock?
Oooh wow.I just thought this was hilarious...I read down through these comments and its sad to see that people argue about the stupidest crap.its a quote, its funny...who cares about if someone can spell right when they comment? And who cares who said this first? Its a damn joke people! For the love of god don't be children!
i'll bitch slap you with my paper hand and knock your ass down before you ever get a chance to punch me if i ever see you, because you threaten me about a game, that your are obviously to retarded to understand.
rock (dynamite with a cutable wip) and siccerrs
Cutable? As in you can cute it? Don't even get me started on siccerrs...
Whoever wrote that...took the time to put that on a sign board...is scary intense. I'd never want to meet this guy, although he's probably in a mental hospital as I type this.
It is special paper constructed from carbon nano-tubes and is completely indestructible...... SO SHUT UP ALREADY!!!!!
How the fuck do scissors cut it?
true i just played practical rps (rock paper scissors) with another 21 yr 0ld and he beat me with paper againest rock he wraped the rock and the paper was no longer
He w raped a rock? "Dude"(quoting KR), w rape is never cool, even if you're w raping a rock!
o sorry. wasnt ur parer supposed to save u?
Unless they grab your fist their hand, and throw it further on its course (while dodging it, of course), thus sending you tumbling to the ground. Paper wins again.
Then why aren't the rocks outdoors just flying around hitting people in the face? Why aren't the scissors indoors flying around stabbing people? BECAUSE ITS A FUCKING GAME.
Because rocks only fly round to hit scissors, and scissors only fly around to stab paper, duh!
it should be rock, dynamite with a cutable wick, sissors
gotta love Demetri Martin
I know it was ridiculously time wasting to read all of these comments, but holy crap I just died laughing. I have no opinion either way on this, i just want to send a personal shout-out to my favorite part of the comments done by Bitchtits, Femalebreasts, and Cockmeatsandwich. I had to put down my computer and walk away at that point cause I had to pee.
what if someone blocks your punch with his hand and then twists it. then paper wins and you get your ass kicked :p
all this arguing about who is right are wrong geesh....i was always upset and the jerkwads who said dynamite or bomb at the end of the game instead of actually playing haha oh well.........guess i will just pray my essay wont eat me tonight hahahahaha jk jk,,,,
actually the person who chose paper could easily stop your punch by catching your fist with their already open palm
have to close your eyes to be fair.
Helarious!! Yr all to serious man. Hit Stumble!
i would just take my already opened hand and bitch slap this fool
HAHA that's what my husband does. Except not when we play rock paper scissors. He just punches me in the face.
The only problem is that if the person who threw paper was smart, they could just block the punch with their open hand...
funny as shit i tried it to my friend today xD
Yay Dane Cook.
I love rock.
lol soooo true!
It doesnt make sence when its a rock, but me and my friends call it a Well. And then it makes more sence. Cause then scissors falls in to well, so well wins and paper covers the well so no watter could be taken... ok it doesnt make that much sence too...
SENSE! SENSE! READ A BOOK! READ A BOOK! READ A MOTHERFORKING BOOK!
I'm pretty sure books aren't in all caps...
How do you play paper vs rock
Just looked at this!
Holy crap i just wasted so much time!
But im really glad i looked. Its funny how much life you spent on this rediculous sign. Hit STUMBLE! and now i am one of you...wasting my time...STUMBLE!
Somebody's got issues...
A paper over rock is what emperors used as a symbol/tool to say, "not fucking happening" back in the day.
this is friggin awesome...i always hated how that damn piece of insignificant paper beat rock
It's from a Chinese proverb... just wikipedia it.
OMFG best StumbleUpon EVER.
Pwnsaus, that may have been the hardest I have laughed in a very long time. I thank you for such a great comment.
No, THAT may have been the hardest I have laughed in a very long time. I thank you for such a great comment.
I've never laughed so hard, oh my gosh
Dude you have issues. Its a game
Spock would rock your rock.
If paper didn't beat rock then the game would have no point because rock would always win
HAHAHAHAHA love it and defo gona do it :P
I'm sorry you can't just play a simple game and need to be an asshole. Wtf does it matter. Paper fucking beats rock because that how it is. You deserved to be punched. If anybody every hit me over this. I will kick their ass then shove paper done their throat. OK not angry over stupid anymore... And Stumble.
In Russian it is "fantasticka"
Okay, I'll throw a boulder at you, and you can defend yourself with a sheet of notepaper. Good luck.
Aw, come on, keep it proportionate. Throw a boulder and defend with industrial size poster paper.
hahaha it's so damn! true haha LOL
I would just catch your fist in the palm of my hand and show you, paper wins!
you all fuckin crack me up lol
Ha I love this! I always told my friends that rock always wins! You are also correct in the quick answers. We have a lot of the same views!
Also rock paper scissors all have there way in helping in life! It may be in a negative or positive way, just depends on how you want to use it!
hahaha funny but annoying at the same time
If you're gonna rip off Mitch Hedberg at least credit his name on somewhere on the website. The world already has too many Mencia's.
Be original, Be funny, Don't steal.
You know, I've heard people credit 6 different people as having said this joke.. what makes you think Mitch Hedberg actually came up with it?
Because the words on that board are a direct quote from mitch hedberg
lmao! true i will use rock from now on :P
I can't stop laughing. Not from the saying, but from the comments and names...do i really have this much time?
I LUVS IT!!
Dumb. waste of time and space.
whoever says paper has no powerful effect clearly has never had to spend endless amounts of time on an essay
I Just like the old game.We use to play it ,and the loser took a shoot of booze.Those were the days that i was a dumb ass.Rot gut whickey.How true the saying is!!!!Had surgery and lost 27 in. of my gut.So if you play be careful not to lose.
I see how scissors beats paper, and how rock beats scissors, but paper beats rock? Paper 'covers' rock and renders it helpless? then why not paper beats scissors? Paper can't beat anything! A rock would shred paper. When I play I always choose rock and if someone says they beat me with paper I hit them in the mouth with my already clenched fist and say, sorry, I thought paper would protect you.
Simple, replace paper with dynamite with a cutable wick.
because the pen is mightier than the sword?
Sounds like someone's a sore loser.
We need a change... I agree Rock beats paper anytime... I propose an England-Ireland-South Africa triad instead...
sounds like some sanctimonious hipster throwing a temper tantrum.
ROTFL! I never understood that game... I may use that in a cartoon at some point. Though I already did by having a Ouija board ghost tell the Ouijers to play Rock, Paper, Scissors - Loser bites it.
Tj - Entities-R-Us, Ghost Hunter Comic
We tested this theory and agree... unless the guy with paper knows karate.
I am strong, and I will fear no paper....unless it's hiding a rock....that's the rock conspiracy, that it's powerless when covered in paper.... then when you let your guard down...WHAM! I'm not falling for your chicanery, rock....I'm watching you....
Wise man with a valid point. LMAO !!
I have actually witnessed paper beating scissors. Like, the metal part of the scissors literally just snapped in half.
hahaha truu! xD
What about them grapping your hand with their ready "paper" hand and then slap you back you dolt!
Who is the douche bag who over anylizes rock paper scissors?
I put a bag over this guy's head, he tried to take it off by banging with the two rock he held in his hands. Oh, the horror.
the reason paper beats rock is because a long time ago people wrote down their massages on rocks. Today we write messages on paper. I think anyone would prefer to have some paper and pen in their bag over some rocks and chissels.
Haha great! :-)
Izzymurphy4 is right
This feels stupid.
"Rock is overpowered! Paper is fine."
Actually, in the old Chinese dynasties, when you submitted your petition to the emperor, he never told you what its fate was. If it failed, his advisor would drape it over a rock that sat near the throne. You would then go get your paper, and that was it.
That's where the 'paper beats rock' thing came from.
Always didn't understand how paper supposedly beat rock all the time, this gives you something to think about....great...i'm glad I STUMBLED upon it....lol
Paper could be comfort. Rock would then be violence and Scissors is industry.
See the scissors is useful and represents the part of us that is resourceful. And is easily destroyed by violence infuenced by lack of comfort. And Scissors also cuts paper, = Being resourceful too much makes us forget how important it is with down time and quality time.
The Paper represents quality. You wipe with it, you read and write on it. The quality of life is greater than violence and everyone needs comfort more than fightning. by covering rock. = Diminishing violence among ourselves.
The rock is the primitive side of ourselves. the blame game is throwing rocks and it can destroy our will to being resourceful and work. Often because of lack of paper.
Do people really have so much time on their hands as to try and contemplate a deep philosophical meaning to a simple kids game? What is next? Comparing the mold that grows on cheese to how life and death are so intiqutely intertwined? Get a life. Seriously.
What are you on dude? Smoking the paper chewing the rock? Salwerio
no hes smokin the rock!
Do people really have so much time, that they spend it commenting on subjects they don't find interesting, only to be a douche? That is some life you are living. ;)
Says the person who must of had enough time to read into the topic of peoples comments...
Rock Paper Scissors Lizard Spock.
I thought it was pretty funny...Next time, I'm punching someone in the face when I lose to paper:)
I just go around stabbing people. Wait, what were we talking about?
Here is a quick answer.
Paper=Money,or people who have alot of it.
Rock=Power, like military or political powers.
Scissors=Science, or "cutting" edge technology.
Those with money, like governments, are able to buy power(military, votes, ect.) to accomplish what they need.
In order to keep the their "power", money needs to buy "scissors", or technology, in order to keep the "rock" strong. In turn, if the "rock" needs more power, they can always overpower the scissors and take what it needs.
money is made with cotton
then why isnt it called "Money, Power, Science?"
you just ruined rock paper scissors...thanks a lot.
Shut the fuck up. I'm going to rock you in the face.
Money is made from cotton.......0o0
Money is made from cotton.....0o0
Wow that was obnoxious. I hope you get involved in a paper cutting mishap.
You have too much time on your hands
I'd like to see what a person with money would do if I broke his nose. probably sue me. But that's why I wouldn't have a penny to my name. Plus I'd stay in Mexico till things blew over. ROCK WINS.
DUDE you just made rock paper scissors one of the hardest games too play, which side i'm gonna choose with al this valuable information..
I mean i actually have to THINK before choosing, Thanks a lot..
You now money can buy power, right? Ever heard of the Kennedy's?
you KNOW you don't NOW moron
Actually, money is a representation of the wealth of a country, specifically, how much gold or "rock" they have. Another win for rock.
Technically if we still used the gold system we wouldn't have gold jewlery because it would be used only as currency. Yeah...
gold is metal dumbass
gold is made by the composition of other rocks that surround it cause it to have its shape texture clevage and composition. in turn gold can be classified as a rock
diamond is rock.. ish
Actually, money is no longer worth it's weight in gold. The banks no longer back their money in gold bars. That went out in the early 1900's. Clearly someone hasn't seen Zeitgeist.
worth IT IS weight...no, worth IT HAS weight...no, worth ITS weight YES!
Personally dude, I get you, but I wouldn't be walking around with a cocky attitude quoting Zeitgeist. Did a little deeper. Watch/research something that wasn't handled to you on a silver movie platter. Then quote that. I'll respect you more.
Personally dude, I get you, but learn to spell correctly. Dig, not did, and handed, not handled.Llearn to not type like an idiot. then write your reply. I'll respect you more.
Personally dude, I get you, but if you're going to call someone out for not spelling correctly, maybe you should take a page out of your own book and not fuck up. Last I checked, learn wasn't spelled llearn. You're both idiots.
Personally dude, I get you, but if you're going to call two people out for not spelling correctly, maybe you should take a page out of your own book and not fuck up. Last I checked, Youre both retarded was spelled you are both retarded.
Personally dude, if you're going to call someone out on their homophones, do the blasted research. Last I checked, "You're" was (and is) a contraction for "you are", and therefore was used correctly. And as far as I'm concerned, everything in the universe, the five of us very much included, is an absolute idiot in some way, shape or form. I'll bet someone is eventually going to call me out for one reason or another, and the cycle will continue, and I will either never know or not know for a great period of time. And yes, I know about the run-on sentence fail that happens to be my doing. I also know approximately how recursive I'm being. And how recursive I'm being about how recursive I'm being, and so on, and so forth. I'm just going to post this now.
personally dude, i just wanted to see personally dude, again.
And now I'm replying to my own comment because I accidentally left out two words in the second to last sentence in the last comment. I fail so hard.
Personally dudes, you are all freaking stupid as shit. Grow up and stop being such little dip shits!
Freaking censored word correct!!! :p
^ C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!!!
Personally dude, your name isn't even English.
bitch cunt fucking fucker whorebag
ass licking faggot raping motherfucker slut skank asswiping shitface
Reading this entire conversation was so much better than the stumble itself. Thank you for making mistakes!
a fight over the internet is like the special Olympics. Even when you win, you're still Retarded.
i completely agree i dont even remember what i stumbled upon anymore haha
That is just so funny...That's exactly what I was thinking...lmao
Personally dude, I get you... awe f it
same boat chaps.....
I will fuck a rock.
i wanted to punch you in the face half way through reading this
paper is used to make legal documents which record the law, which is upheld by the governing body so... rock loses in the end and you get a law suit on your ass for assault and you can bet your ass that the law suit will be on paper... PAPER BEATS YOU!!!!
too bad. he did paper.
I wanted to punch this tool in the face as well. Cheers!
ditto to cha cha. somebody missed the joke.
I robot is right screw all you people
I want to watch iRobot now.
iPad. Yeah that's right. This was all an elaborate Apple advert
imac. ahh yes, the good ol' days.
iPple Pie (apple pie FTW)
= not straight = curved = possessing an inconstant derivative. I wonder what the slope of a gay is at his point of inflection.
how the fuck did it get tho that?......... I-RAN lol
irock, the new iraq.
iAm....Iron Man. ;)
no, you like men
Wow, just Wow
This is exacly what I find myself spending my time on figuring out also. We should hang
this is stupid.
Chill out dude!
Lava beats everything.
Except absolute zero.
But absolute 273 beats absolute zero... Let's play lava, absolute zero and absolute 273
this is stupid
Your name is Bitchtits
And your name is Femalebreasts...
my name is cockmeatsandwich
ha ha ha ha ha Ok...going back to the paper vs rock discussion lol
I believe that was part of the joke
I can wipe my bum with one sheet of paper. I would never use a rock or sizzors. It hurts just to think about that.
We've all heard that argument countless times..."There's no way paper would beat rock!". The game obviously wouldn't work if paper didn't beat rock, hence the reason it does. Writing a long explanation on a big sign doesn't make this funny either.
Or your just a debbie downer.
Or YOU'RE just...
Or YOU'RE suck...
great job on taking an old internet picture and copying it, dumbass.
I've always understood it to be sandpaper, or that was the explanation I was given as a child when my logic questioned the ridiculous notion that paper could somehow harm the rock. Paper wears down the rock.
I like Izzymurphy4's explanation below. The game's been passed down so it likely has ancient roots.
Have you tried wiping (anything) with a rock ?!
Yeah, dog shit off my shoes. Rock works better than paper for that.
HAHAHA FUCK THEM MOTHER FUCKERS ... MY FIST BEATS ALL...
I'm pretty sure my scissors would fuck up your fist. Sharp, pointed metal beats balled lump of bone and flesh.
He could probably pummel your puny scissors into submission, assuming he didn't foolishly punch the sharp edges, damaging his hands and fingers.
didnt see that one coming, did he....nope
stop taking it so literally. Its hysterical. Just take it as that :)
Rock is dead. Long live Paper and Scissors.
what about dynamite?
This is hilarious
I heard that from Demetri Martin stand up comedy.
demetri martin= loser
Demetri Martin is quite an intelligent man, and more successful than you are, "dude".
You're a douche. Do you honestly think you're brilliant because you phrase things using slightly less common, albiet well-known, expressions/words (see I can do it too fag-stick), and put common slang in quotes like you're too good for it?
I believe he was quoting Keanu Reeves. Pink handbag stick? I'm still working on "peeny"...
haha thats classic :)
give me industrial sized paper rolls and we will see how well you can escape from that.
Paper covering rock was used as a political veto in ancient Japan, where the game originated. If the emperor wanted to keep a law from being passed, he would place paper over the rock the law had been carved on. Or something like that.
still makes no sense.
isnt this from Daniel Tosh??...
If the person blocks your punch with their palm, paper has protected them, dumbass.
thats just ironic
by the associative property:
You should use paper every time.
i have lost brain cells while reading this doesnt anyone have anything better to do then write this stupid f!@king stuff..
I absolutely love this <3 YOUR funnyy <3333
shit fuck ass bitch
fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
fuck shit bitch ass cunt
this is a dane cook joke...
No, Dane Cook is never funny.
leirn how two spel!!!!
that's fuckin lame.
fuck this guy